Wedding Purpose
The primary purpose of a wedding ceremony is to allow the bride and groom to make pledges for each other. These pledges serve as the foundation for their marriage and provide the officiating clergy the authority to proclaim them man and wife.
When I declare I won’t do the so-called white wedding, people think I’m stingy, old, or sick in the head. I’m always curious as to “why Africans spend so much money (that they/we don’t have) to imitate a European wedding, which is a Western tradition/culture”. In Africa, we have our own way of doing things, not this colonial imposition. Africans had been marrying and raising families since the dawn of time, long before colonization. Why, therefore, should we act American to be termed married today? This is why I like Nigerian weddings. They use an African fabric, designs and everything is just African.
Many of us do this to impress our Instagram followers, but at the end of the day, I see individuals strangled by bills there. Many Africans do it for prestigious reasons: the more European you copy, the more respect you will receive, as well as for fundraising objectives (as many expect that people will give more money as a wedding present which will cover all the costs, and left with a profit). A wedding does not require a large number of guests, nor does it necessitate the wearing of a long white lace gown. A wedding is just a union.
Why do you borrow so much money for a European-style wedding in Africa? Let us realize that a wedding is not a fundraising event; we don’t have money to offer you here in Zimbabwe; we come to see you kissing and eating free food. Zimbabwe is a case study worldwide when it comes to poverty, a failing economy, a failed currency, a high unemployment rate (95 percent), a cashless economy (our ATMs are empty), the greatest inflation, and so on. So where do you want us to get the money so we can just gift it to you? The fact is that we don’t. You’re not going to receive it. Do a simple wedding at a church with a $20 cake. I can’t think of a good reason to borrow thousands of dollars for a Western-style wedding.
I was contacted about three weeks ago in January by a Californian woman through one of my websites who asked me to edit her wedding photos. She wanted a graphic designer’s touch. Their wedding took me by surprise. In a bathtub, she and her spouse got married. Both were dressed in swimsuits. Her 92-year-old father, a retired clergyman, served as the marriage officer. Imagine. There were just seven (7) people in attendance at the wedding. Imagine that! Simple, and the purpose was met. They are now married and very happy. Most importantly, they did not forego having fun. We have a tendency to forget that we should have fun from now and then.
Greatman’s wedding mistake was that the couple thought that people shall pour in money, and also forgot that TEO is on business.
TEO Events must be brought to order. It hurries to take care of disabled people’s weddings “kunge moyo chena” (like a good-hearted person) as if market their business for free. They take all of the donated money and presents and refuse to provide financial reports to the newlyweds, thus keeping them in the dark. Why did TEO Events block the newlyweds’ phone numbers? That should be put to a halt! While their business flourishes, this company takes advantage of the disabled population and exploits them. Their social media accounts are flooded with likes and comments.
Do what you can afford to do. Africans mimic but ruin everything from the start. The bride’s family is supposed to pay for the Western wedding. But in this culture, the male is expected to pay for everything, and women feel they should always receive and be cared for by a man, as well as the notion that “mukawasha muwonde haaperi kudyiwa” (son-in-law is a fig tree, his fruits never cease) and so should always have money to spend. When the creditors come to collect their money, you will be alone because the other guests will be gossiping about you. And now you’re playing the blame game? It’s not going to help. We must use caution while making decisions.
Why do Africans want to spend so much money imitating European culture when they don’t have the money to cover the costs? Live according to your means.
Another speaker said, “When You See Men Fall Don’t Laugh, Learn!” It’s an opportunity for us to learn from the couple’s mistakes. I wish them more strength to deal with the issues they are dealing with on the ground.
Do the right things right and for the right purposes!
Opinions and views are mine.
Regards, K Jasi.